July 2002 Archives
Spring has come and gone and I failed to follow through on the time-honored tradition of spring-cleaning, both in the literal and the figurative senses.
EJ and I had a long over due heart to heart & mind-to-mind discussion on Sunday about the changes that have taken place in our lives over the past year, our relationship, and our future. I had been doing everything in my power to avoid even thinking about such a conversation, fearing how it would be received and what the outcome would be. But the universe delivered a clear message that ignoring this would only result in irreparable damage.
The good news is that we were both able to calmly discuss various issues that we have skirted passed over the years and put all the cards on the table. What a relief and moment of extreme clarity. We have work to do and we don't know what the final outcome will be. But we have mutual respect, love, and admiration for each other that with the correct nurturing will take us to the next level in our relationship. Most importantly, we know that we can no longer try to live our lives to meet the expectations of others and to be the perfect couple. I can't express the weight that was lifted from me being able to express my feelings and have them be validated and accepted without drama "for lack of a better word". The same was evident for EJ.
So what happens now? Communication to the nth degree. We'll continue to make mistakes but now we must work to learn from them and not repeat them.
To EJ - Thank you for listening and giving your honest feedback.
I never know if I should laugh or be saddend by these types of reports.
From "The Blotter" Creative Loafing - source is actual Atlanta Police Reports.
A 36 Year-Old man on Anderson Road said he and his boyfriend argued over a cat, after which his boyfriend hit him in the head with an iron pipe. The boyfriend admitted to the incident.
An undercover officer was in a car at the intersection of Northside Drive and North Avenue when he was approached by a 37-year-old woman in green pants. The woman said "That bitch only sells flex (fake crack). I can take you into the bluff and get you real hard (crack) for $5." She was taken to jail.
The owner of a convenience store on Moreland Avenue saw a 40-year-old man grab a can of Spam, shove it down his pants and try to leave the store without paying. The man was charged with shoplifting. The Spam was worth $2.79.
An office responded to a fight on LaSalle Way that involved a knife, ax, and shovel - and two brothers. The brothers, age 38 and 50, live with their mother, who is 69 years old. The 38-year-old brother said during an argument, the older brother hit him in the head with a pistol. The 50-year-old said they were arguing about their mother's credit card, and his younger brother hit him in the head with a 2-by-4 piece of wood. The mother said her sons fight frequently because sometimes they will not share their drugs. Both sons were charged with aggravated assault.
Ok Ok! Its My Turn.. Boosted from J and Jason .
4 Truths and 1 Lie
1. I got my first speeding ticket exactly 24 hours after getting my license because the school bus driver of the bus I used to ride on called the CHP and told them I was driving recklessly around the school bus.
2. I once started having sex in one country and climaxed after entering another one.
3. I violently slammed a chair into the woman behind me in a futile attempt to snag an ear ring that Janet Jackson tossed to me during her Rhythm Nation Tour.
4. I played soccer with Ziggy Marley while he waited his turn on stage during a Reggae Summer Fest concert in Berkeley.
5. Eric Bennet offered to buy me a drink before performing at a local spot.
These should be enough to throw J and EJ off track. I think.
The Gig is UP! Here are the shocking (or not so shocking) results!
USELESS THOUGHT OF THE DAY: If the phone company knows that I need to dial a one before placing a certain call, why bother to waste time telling me that and not just put the D**** call through?
Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Atlanta, The Cascades, Mike, Male, 31-35!
So there! Now I am just like the Jones’s across the skreet! (that is street for anyone not in the South)
I don't know what it is, but I am a complete sucker for a deep Southern drawl. Not the annoying whine of a Southern Belle, but the brothas. It just does something for me. I guess that is why I love listening to Andre 2000 (or is it 3000 now?) and Big Boi of Outkast.
I usually miss moments like THIS until I remember that my Sony Mini DV camera also takes pretty good stills. Not only was I shocked to see Miss Thang on the table, but equally concenred that she had re-arranged the chess pieces and began destroying reading the Bon Apetit magazines.
She now is convinced that the entire house is hers.
I am on a roll, I cought THIS one too. Her new favorite spot to get stuck.
I have been going full speed ahead, non-stop for the past week or two - I lose track.
I have not really been reading my usual blog favorites and now I find myself so friggin behind that I feel like I have lost touch with the world. My cyber world that is. Its such a feeling of emptiness. I think I need to read a book or something. I am such an internet addict.
I kinda blew off work today. I didn't mean to, but there just were not enough minutes in the day to get done what I needed to get done and something had to give. Thanks to the magic of call forwarding, my office followed me through my travels today - not that I answered.
Useless lesson learned for today: One cannot call Cingular's customer service using either Sprint or Verizon celluar service. "we're sorry, but we are unable to complete your call.... blah blah blah, blah blah blah..." Valuable calling units lost. I could have used those to check my horrorscope.
Are AL B. Sure and Kyle West ever coming out with a new album? Enquiring minds wanna know.
phwew! Enough . . . .
I LOVE my people!!!! I really do. Last night, EJ and I attending a sold out performance by Mary J. Blige at the lovely Classic Chastain amphitheater. We arrived just in time get our "sponsor" tickets and navigate to our seats. That was until I ended up behind the concert groupie/diva extraordinaire. Of course, her tickets were not there but she knew people who knew people who were back stage and yadda yadda yadda...... Tickets secured, we try to make our way to our seats, getting bad or no directions from the "event staff".
Once in our seats, we are pleasantly pleased at our location. While on the side, we are close enough to the stage to see everyone on stage, especially Tweet's lovely base player. More on this as we later find out why these seats were free.
Today I planned, anticipated, and prepared for what was supposed to be a very exciting and productive meeting of the volunteer planning committee for our Black pride weekend. Little did I know that the world around me had other plans.
Apparently ALL the staff at Wolf Camera woke up on the wrong side of the bed this AM if at all. All I needed to do was drop off two rolls of film for 1 hour processing with no borders (apparently since they were bought out by Ritz Camera, borders are standard and one must ask for no borders - UGH!), have them correct the error they made with my photo CD - as in the photo's on it were not mine, and swoop back by in a few hours to pick it all up. Simple, right?
WRONG!
#1 - I had to convince them that it was THEIR error, not mine, that the pictures on the CD were wrong. Finally, someone's brain had a few synapses fire all at once as she recalled the poor woman who got a CD full of Gay Pride photo's when she was expecting her wedding photos. I can see it now..."Hey girl, check out my wedding. My man was looking PHOINE!! (and he was)..."
Mike - "What time will these all be ready?"
Clerk - "The time is on your ticket!!" (with attitude and near head roll)
Mike - "Um, O K ..... - notes time of 1:30PM and leaves"
There is what appears to be an older man that has taken control of the South off ramp of I-285 to Cascade Road in Atlanta. He's there almost every day, with his bucket in hand, soliciting for change as drivers impatiently wait for the light to change.
I can never make out exactly what he is saying because my music is too loud I do everything in my power NOT to make eye contact. He's also appointed himself the traffic director of the intersection, waving people on as the light changes in their favor. The first thought that snapped into my head was "who appointed YOU to tell me how to drive" being a bit put off that this man was yelling something at drivers me as if we don't know what to do. As my guilt set in, it dawned on me that this man may have a need to feel useful, and as such, has taken up this job as his very own.
My attitude towards the homeless was forever skewed by my tenure in Berkeley California, which at the time was the Mecca for homeless (by choice) youth, young adults, and eccentric ex UC Berkeley professors. Most of these people were presumed to be there because they chose to be there, leaving behind wealthy families who figured "this phase will pass, and they will come home". Anyway, you get the point. I learned to distrust the situation and blame them for their choice of existence.
That distrust continues to this day, creating immediate anxiety when confronted with the homeless. None of this really came up as an issue for me until one day on drive downtown; I passed a homeless person and made some smart-ass comment about him wandering around on the highway. No sooner did I finish spitting my vile thoughts did I pass a stray dog that was not so agile at crossing the highway and was thus laying on the side of the highway, the end point of his last romp on earth. I immediately felt compassion and sorrow for the dog, which then erupted into guilt and confusion as to why I could feel so much for the dog, and resent the human in much a similar situation.
When discussing this with J., he offered a plausible explanation stating that the dog for the most part is undeniably helpless in his situation while the human has more ability to be in control. That worked for the moment, but as I give it more thought, I am still not comfortable. Mental illness can render a person incapable of effectively managing even the most basic life matters, putting them in the same category as the stray dog. Harsh thought, but true.
So, I am still not resolved around this issue. Today as I approached the intersection at the off-ramp, I looked for our self-imposed traffic director. He was there as expected. I glanced around the Boy Coaster, spotting excess change. But in doing so, I also noted that the climate control panel was indicating that it was near 99 degrees outside. I reached behind me to grab something I felt would be more appropriate for the moment. Rolling down the window, I offered a lukewarm bottle of Dasani bottled water which was welcomed with a mostly toothless smile, a head nod, and stern shout to “GO, GO, GO…” Looking up, I realized that my light was green, and I was to move along as being instructed. Unfortunately, there was some HOT MOM who decided that it was her right to run the red light, only to have to sit in the middle of the intersection blocking those of us that would have otherwise been able to go on our merry way if she were not in the way.
| What we say | What Anna hears |
| Stop that, bad girl. | RUN! You don't have to stop until we catch you. But when we catch you, look real sad and lick us to death. |
| Come here Anna. | When you are done sniffing, scratching, or chasing the bees, come back, but whatever you do, take your time. |
| Do you want to go outside? | Do you want another try at escaping to the neighbor's yard and beyond? |
| Sit. | Want an easy treat? |
| Drop it! | Grab it, run, and try to hide with it. You only have to drop it if I corner you. |
| No. | Pause, look sad, then keep on doing what you were doing unit we do this at least three times. |
| Stay. | Sit until its clear that we are not going to give you a treat, then do what ever it is you want to do. |
| Get the ball | Get the ball, bring it back (as long as there is nothing more interesing to get into on the way there and back), drop it, and bite my feet. |
| Wanna eat. | Wanna eat. |
| Good girl.. Good Anna |
Fall on the floor, roll on your back, and let me rub your belly. |
I, unlike some pet owners, have decided I do NOT want to know what that this little puppy is thinking for the most part. I can tell by the look on her face that sometimes, she just does not get us! Well honey, the feeling is mutual! But we love you just the same.
Last night, Anna made it clear that she would no longer stand being barricaded behind a safety gate in the master bathroom at night. Once worn down and tired, she crawled under the bed, curled up and slept through the night, sparing me her 3AM and 6AM potty calls.
This morning, EJ, MAN, and I met up at Ray's On The River for a gut filling all you can eat brunch. Ray's has one of the best I have ever experienced, which is why I keep going back. This time around, we not only had good food, but equally appetizing eye candy. Our waiter was one that we have eyeballed before from afar. Now he was right in front of us, and we were like deer in headlights when he approached the table.
MAN offered an interesting thought as we inhaled at least two plates of food. Do service personnel pick up on the vibe of customers who find them attractive, especially a table full of them? We all recognized the awkward tension at the table each time he came by to refill coffee cups or clear plates, but could he sense our uneasiness and damn near obvious infatuation with him? I'm going to be paranoid of this from now on. Thanks MAN!!
EJ was noticeably disturbed when after our scrumptious waiter provided us with friendly, efficient service, the check was picked up a nondescript person with a huge coffee stain on his white shirt. He quickly flagged down our waiter to ensure that he would get the tip. MAN and I made small talk to plan to see MIB II later in the evening.
MIB II was pretty much a run of the mill sequel. I was no more or less entertained by it than I was with MIB. Although, weather it was intentional or not, Tommy Lee Jones seemed a bit unmotivated this time around. Will Smith was his typical non-Ali self, and Rosario Dawson was looking mighty alluring.
On the trip to and from the flick, EJ once again loaded Kelis into the Boy Coaster's (yes, it finally has a name) sound system and I have now succumbed to two tracks: Scared Money and Little Suzie. I was a big fan of her first album, wearing grooves in the CD, and will now have to sit down and consciously absorb this new one. Why I resist these things, I have no idea. I made it a mission to NOT listen to Meshell N'Degeocello's new joint just because everyone was making so much noise about it. I know realize that was a mistake, so go easy on me. I did NOT want to have to try and like it because everyone else did, be disappointed, and have to vent about it, like I was with Raphael Saadiq's latest (Don't get me wrong, I like it, but its just not all that it was hyped up to be).
Last task for the night is to do some file system and disk tuning on Eros, our RH 7.3 Linux server which is now the happy home of our 2,500+ mp3 collection. Its a much better file server than my WIN2K workstation appearantly was.
After accidently uploading an OLDER install and config of MT, blasting out my working mt.cfg, and almost wiping out my happy template, I have made the bump up to MT 2.21. I even managed to figure out TrackBack!
I do this for a living so it should have been much smoother, but I have an issue with following instructions.
Time for some sleep now. YAWN.
I spent today doing absolutely nothing. This is my day to recover from being the backyard grill machine! Yesterday we celebrated Independence Day by having a small gathering at DIC. I provided vittles (and I must admit, my BBQ skills are maturing nicely), MAN and JJFAD hooked up some spirits, and all had a good time, including Miss Anna. EJ was, well, EJ LOL
Right now, I am sitting here watching MTV Unplugged with the JIGGA Man Jay Z. I am by no means a Jay Z fan, but I am kinda glued to the TV right now.
My fascination? Certainly NOT Jay Z. I am geeked on the band!! He's got The Roots and crew backing him.
THIS I would pay to experience live. If I could only mute Jay Z....... PAUSE!!!!
Just as I was about to end this post, Mary J. Blige steps on stage with Jay Z! (hoisting Jaw up off the floor). OK, I just hit record on the TIVO, thankful that its buffer got the entire broadcast from the start. BTW if TIVO were outlawed today, I would be the equivalent of a crack head with a TIVO habit!
Everyone in the audience is up on their feet too! A far cry from Unplugged with Lauryn Hill where I swear I saw some folks snoozin during her performance. YES!! I am hatin'. I could not sit through her baggage STUFF! Not to mention that all her STUFF was sung over the same tired cords.
Ughh! Pharrell Williams is now on stage. He should stay in the studio creating beats and producing IMHO.
In celebration (a few days late) of my 4 year anniversary with EJ, I took today through Friday off from work. Its been a while since I took official days off. I even unhooked the iPager from my waist and left the cell phone at home for good measure. Not that I went any where exciting- Bank of America, Publix, Wolf Camera (snapped off a few rolls of film with my new camera), back to Bank of America.
After seeing J. off to Chicago for the weekend * sniff sniff *, EJ and I headed to Canoe for a nice anniversary dinner. Next to a good orgasm, a good meal can be emotionally AND physically satisfying to me. It scares me some times. Today, I got that post orgasm euphoric feeling after inhaling the meal. I enjoyed the entire experience from the apple martini, to a bowl of Roasted Sweet Corn Soup jonah crab, rosemary, applewood smoked bacon. Main course - Grilled Organic Angus Sirloin (med rare) summer squash gratin, lemon thyme, young garlic sauce. And topped the evening off with Bing Cherry ice cream sandwiches with cherry ice cream.
Now get this scenery - outside patio with cotton canopy, aside a spectacularly landscaped garden with trails and tables buttressed right up to the shore of the Chattahoochee river. While it was raining the entire time, the temperature was a cool 75 degrees allowing us to dine comfortably outside and enjoy a bit of nature at the same time. This was truly a moment to cherish as we enjoyed our meal and each other's company in such a relaxing environment.
This very well could have been the inspiration for Shalamar's "Night To Remember" LOL
What a weekend!! Fri - Sat - and Sun was Pride weekend in Atlanta. As a co-chair of the annual Black Pride weekend (during Labor Day weekend), I was on duty all weekend to use this opportunity to raise money for our event. It was hot, rained just enough each day to turn the park into a sauna, AND my anniversary weekend to boot! Just too many things to mention.
Needless to say, lots of hot and not so hot bodies all over the place. Some people should just say NO to taking their cloths off in public. I need to be ok with people who are comfortable enough with their bodies, no matter what they look like, to display them in public. I am just not there nor do I think I ever will be.
Not only am I exhausted but I also have a bruised pinky toe resulting in me walking like I'm 60 instead of the moderately young 35 year old that I am. Speaking of walking, I have no excuse to NOT resume my daily walking routine with all the stepping I did this weekend. Surprisingly, I am in better shape for walking than I thought. So now I know its just laziness that is in my way. * sigh *
Sunday marked my 4th anniversary with EJ. In some aspects, it seems like yesterday that we were meeting by chance in New York. But mostly, I cannot imagine what my life would be like, what I would be doing, and how happy I would be, without him. I long recognized that there is no perfect person in the world and that I would not be "settling" by being with someone who was not my ideological mate. EJ snuck up on me, conquered my mind and soul and it was my body that followed this time.
To EJ! Just be who you are and that is all that I ask of you. I love you like crazy!
