My Spirit can only take so much abuse

Today, I found myself feeling desperate, broken, and wounded, and ready to give up. But only temporarily. Why you ask? Don't expect a well crafted essay folks. I am writing from emotion right now so it may not make sense or flow or any of that creative writing stuff I learned ages ago.

At times, I forget where I live - smack dab in the middle of the South. Not only is this confederate flag country, but its also the Bible belt. Hatred, bigotry, and self-righteousness are alive and well. As Black man, who is also Gay, being aware of the current political and social environment is not an easy thing to manage.

I have been dealing with racism long enough to dismiss the acts as ignorance, fear, and inbreeding. I am confident enough in myself to know that it is not about me, but about them. It is also easier to manage because there is no religious so-called moral issue with being Black. Homosexuality brings a whole new host of demons. The morality police of this country are quick to dismiss homosexuality as a dysfunction, perversion, or other factors that can be controlled and managed - if one chooses to do so.

So as I prepare to hold a reception to educate my friends and acquaintances about the various Georgia Senate and House bills that will direct affect us, I found myself questioning why should I even bother.

Watching the news put me into state of emotion that I can only liken to losing a good friend. Here were my people, my fellow Black folks, speaking out against me, my rights, and even questioning my very character and being.

THIS piece of shit is representative of the insensitivity and stupidly that people of privilege easily toss around.

The following statement was made by a 16-year-old youth at a rally at the state capitol this past weekend:

"I am here because just the other day I was told that I am an abomination to God and this amendment proves it," he told about 600 people gathered in the rain. "I heard this and began to cry. I wondered what has happened to our society to think that because I am gay that I do not deserve to live freely."

Today on the news, I listened to an Ex Gay minister sing the praises of how he he used to be Gay and when he found God, he found he could have a wife and kids all the things he always wanted. He then went on to condemn all Gays for being sick and not deserving of any sympathy until they stop their wicked ways. And yes, he is Black. I don't want fucking sympathy - just equality.

On the same news piece, a Black woman quoted the dumb ass phrase "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" Stupid.. God made Steve too and if Steve is Gay, are you telling me that God made a mistake ?? Explain THAT one to me in a way that makes any reasonable sense.

This was in a 4 minute segment of news so you can imagine the constant influx of hatred and vile that one must endure taking on this battle.

So, I am angry, hurt, and frustrated right now. But that will only make me stronger people! THEY just don't get it.

I am hoping to raise at least $500 this weekend with an overall goal of $1,000 for Georgia Equality to help in the fight against the various anti Gay bills, many of which seek to amend the Georgia Constitution. If you live in Atlanta and want to learn more about what is going on, what is being done to fight these bills, or to just help support the cause, feel free to drop me an email.

I am not an abomination. I am not a mistake. I am not a pervert. I am not a sick. My relationship is not dysfunction (not for the reasons THEY would have you believe at least * LOL *)

Posted by mesprime at February 17, 2004 10:50 PM
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